shark catcher

Amaya: Remember that time that Daddy took me fishing and I caught a really, really, really, really, really big fish with sharp teeth and Daddy called it a shark?
Me: I don't remember that.
Amaya: Hm. You didn't go with us.

there's a new game now, kid.

Me: Amaya, you cannot jump on the couch.
Amaya: Yes, I can, Mommy. It's easy!
Me: Amaya, you misunderstood me. You may not jump on the couch. You do not have permission to jump on the couch. Do not jump on the couch. Understand?
Amaya: I have to jump on the couch, Mommy.
Me: You may not jump on the couch, Amaya.
Amaya: I have to, Mommy! I have to!
Me: You may not.
Amaya: Mommy! If I don't jump on the couch, then I will lose the game!
Me: Amaya...
Amaya: Mommy! I have to jump on the couch! If I don't, then I will lose the game! You jump, jump, jump, jump and the first person to follow off loses. I don't want to lose!
Me: There's a new game we are going to play now. You can jump, jump, jump, jump all around the carpet in the living room, and the first person to step off of it loses. Do you understand me? Arabella, do you understand me?
Arabella: Yes, ma'am.
Me: Gabriel, do you understand me?
Gabriel: Yes.
Me: Amaya, do you understand me?
Amaya: <shrieking, running out of the room> I'M GONNA WIIIIIIINNN!!!!!

You will not test me, Mama.

Moments alone with any one of my children is rare, so last night's brief period of shopping with my four-year-old was a huge treat.  These are the times when I am jealous of my one-and-done friends, because life with one really is so much easier.

Because my husband and I do not allow electronics in our vehicles, my daughters have an impeccable sense of direction and, at nearly 3 and 4, are well aware of logograms and letters.

As we drove down Highway 6 ("Not 1092, Mama"), Arabella helpfully named landmarks as we drove past them:

Arabella: There's Walgreens, Mama.
Me: You're right! How do you know that's Walgreens?
Arabella: I know everything. Look, Mama, there's Luby's.
Me: Very good. How do you know that's Luby's?
Arabella: I know everything, Mama. Look, there's Cici's. Do you see it, Mama? We went there to eat with Grandmommy and Haley and Bobby and Jordan and Lorna and Gabriel and you had pasta and -- oh, look, there's that tire place. They fixed the car, Mama, remember?
Me: I do, and you're right. Very good. How did you know that that was Cici's and Discount Tire?
Arabella: I told you, Mama, I know everything.
Me: Yeah? If you know everything, then what's that? (I pointed to LA Fitness, where anyone who knows us knows that we have never been.)
Arabella: <big sigh> Mama. I don't have to prove myself to you. I know everything. It's okay.

She knows what she wants.

At Daddy's office, there is a bowl of candy that sits high on the ledge near the front door. The girls know this, just as they know that a trip to Daddy's office means that they can each have a small treat. The last time, however, that we were there, the candy bowl was empty, and both toddlers were devastated.

This morning, when my husband called with the plea that I load all three children up and take his medication to him at work, my girls grew very excited. The shouts of "Candy!" filled the house until Arabella remembered that the bowl had been empty the last time.

Amaya: Maybe we can take our bag of Starburst and pour all of it into the candy bowl at Daddy's work. Then there will be candy there!
Me: That's a real good idea, but if we do that, then we won't have any candy here.
Amaya: That's okay. We can just stay there and eat it all.
Arabella: I think that's a win-win situation, Mama.

Hello, Officer?

When extreme injustice occurs, my two-year-old knows just what to do. She called the police.

"Hello, Officer? Come take my daddy away, please. He bought Tea, not Coke, and I don't like Tea. 'Kay, thanks, bye."

Thankfully she was just on her play phone.

Little Mama

"Look, Mama. I'm feeding my baby."

Better you than me, Sis.

After dinner tonight, Shane went outside to enjoy a cigarette and I stayed in the kitchen, cleaning it up. With Deacon sleeping off his crazy day (EMS ride to the ER, courtesy of a no-breathing, turning-blue, choking episode), the girls played hide-n-go-seek under our multi-colored fleece blanket, and I half-listened to their conversation:

Arabella: No, Amaya! Don't take so much! Mama's gonna see me!
Amaya: Haha!
Arabella: Amaya! Mama's gonna see me!
Amaya: Better than you than me!